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Social Media Makes Me Feel Empty

The parallel world during a pandemic

We all have bad days

Today wasn’t the saddest I’ve ever had

However, Before I got to bed I decided to scroll through Instagram

Bad idea

Everyone having fun

Why not? It’s Friday night

I don’t blame them

No matter how much I tell myself I’m not alone

I still feel lonely

I know tomorrow I’ll be fine but why does my brain play me like this

Is like I’m missing something

Life slipping through my fingers

It’s been seven months

The fear of missing out won’t let me sleep

This is supposed to be the time of my life

What if it doesn’t get better than this?

Am I wasting my life? If so what can I do about it?

Every person is different

We all have priorities and goals in life

I try to focus on mine

But social media makes me feel like I’m wrong

I spend my days making plans for my future and putting myself out there to become the person I want to be

The person I already am

Maybe I’m not doing it right

Perhaps I have to be more social in order to feel less alone

To feel accepted

Do I even know how to be around a lot of people anymore?

Everybody says that the more weird and different you are in life is one of the keys to be successful

Or maybe I got it all wrong and I have to be like everybody else

That way I’ll feel like I’m part of something

Less alone

I’ve friends… a few to say the least

They are good and kind to me

Sometimes I feel like they are enough

But then I see all these Instagram stories of my not so close friends with a bunch of people having fun and being happy

Going on trips to Cancun …

There’s still a Pandemic out there you know?

Am I missing something?

Are they really happy?

Are they pretending to have the best time?

Or am I the one pretending to be fine by having just a few friends and not going out?

Is this black a white? Or the gray area is as small as a penny?

Am I the only one feeling this way?

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